Whereas a witticism is a clever remark or phrase — indeed, the height of expression — a “dimwitticism” is the converse; it is a commonplace remark or phrase. Dimwitticisms are worn-out words and phrases; they are expressions that dull our reason and dim our insight, formulas that we rely on when we are too lazy to express what we think or even to discover how we feel. The more we use them, the more we conform — in thought and feeling — to everyone else who uses them.

Here are a few sentence examples from some popular novels. These quotations, however well written they or their surrounding words may be, are marred, adulterated by dimwitticisms.

Each dimwitticism is a failure to write clearly and compellingly, an admission that the author could not manage an original thought or a better turn of phrase, or could not be bothered to think of one.

Dimwitticisms, as these examples make startlingly clear, yield only facile writing, only false sentiment.

What you find out in your thirties is that clever children are a dime a dozen. — Christina Schwarz, All Is Vanity

a dime a dozen is a dimwitticism.

But I can remember that from quite early on, for some reason, Isabel decided that Edith was rather a feather in her cap, someone that little bit special to be fed to her country neighbours in rationed morsels. — Julian Fellowes, Snobs

a feather in her cap is a dimwitticism.

The two women were simply aiding and abetting each other to disband the Seraglio. — Penelope Fitzgerald, Human Voices

aiding and abetting is a dimwitticism.

It has been a true labor of love, and something more - the only thing that has kept her calm during the long winter months of waiting for the hearing to begin. — Anita Shreve, Fortune's Rocks

a labor of love is a dimwitticism.

For the time being he could see the line in the sand: on one side of it, all he had; on the other, all he'd lose. — Martin Amis, Yellow Dog

line in the sand is a dimwitticism.

And now the dog was dead, and Morris was saying that, as the dog should have known, his was a losing battle, and that that not given in love would be redressed in blood. — David Mamet, The Old Religion

a losing battle is a dimwitticism.

The do-gooder, the bleeding heart, the concerned citizen, the militant reformer: what a pain in the neck they are: always making us feel guilty about something. — Edward Abbey, The Fool's Progress: An Honest Novel

a pain in the neck is a dimwitticism.

She gave me a rather disparaging look and took out a tin of Golden Virginia, which she opened to reveal a layer of tiny neat joints packed in like sardines. — Kate Atkinson, Emotionally Weird

packed in like sardines is a dimwitticism.

Ineffectual phrases are the expressions people use to delay or obstruct, to bewilder or make weary. The intent of those who use ineffectual phrases is to make it appear as though their sentences are more substantial than they actually are, but not one sentence is made more meaningful by their inclusion:

please be advised that

I'll tell you something

it has come to my attention

it is important to realize

it is interesting to note

make no mistake about it

I'd like to take this opportunity to

the fact of the matter is

the fact remains

the thing about it is

what happened is

How a person speaks often reveals how he thinks. And how he thinks determines how he behaves. A person who speaks ineffectually may think ineffectually, and a person who thinks ineffectually may behave ineffectually — perhaps badly.

In an inescapable pair, the first word means much the same as the second or so often accompanies the second that any distinction between them is, in effect, forfeited.

Only occasionally, that is, do we see the word allied without the word closely; asset without valuable; baby without beautiful; balance without delicate; distinction without dubious; error without egregious; tied without inextricably; missed without sorely; poverty without abject; principle without basic.

And only occasionally do we see the word aid without the word abet; alive without well; effective without efficient; hope without pray; hue without cry; pure without simple.

When two words are treated as though they were one — the plight of every inescapable pair — our keenness is compromised, our discernment endangered.

Any thought or feeling in which these expressions are found is likely to be made instantly laughable:

absolutely, positively

all of the above

because that's why

as compared to what?

in no way, shape, or form

intestinal fortitude

it takes one to know one

mutual admiration society

really and truly

the feeling's mutual

Also included among these phrases that strike all but the dimwitted as derisory are notorious advertising slogans (inquiring minds want to know; where's the beef), song and film titles (a funny thing happened to me on the way to; I can't get no satisfaction), and alliterative or rhymed phrases (a bevy of beauties; chrome dome).

Metaphors, like similes, should have the briefest of lives. Their vitality depends on their evanescence.

Yet must we ever endure the dimwitted

it's a jungle out there

an emotional roller coaster

a walk in the park

like being run over by a Mack truck

as cool as a cucumber

everything but the kitchen sink

as hungry as a horse

leak like a sieve

light at the end of the tunnel

out to lunch

a piece of cake

rule the roost

window of opportunity

every parent's worst nightmare

and countless other metaphors that characterize people as dull, everyday speakers and writers, indeed, as platitudinarians? Nothing new do they tell us. Nothing more do they show us.

Moreover, if it weren't for our plethora of metaphors, especially, sports images —

above par

a new ballgame

batting a thousand

make an end run around

down for the count

hit a home run

off base

pull no punches

stand on the sidelines

step up to the plate

took the ball and ran with it

— and war images —

a call to arms

an uphill battle

battle lines are drawn

draw fire

earn his stripes

first line of defense

in the trenches

on the firing line

take by storm

— men and, even, women would be far less able to articulate their thoughts. We would speak and write more haltingly than we already do; our thoughts and feelings more misshapen than they already are.

We rely on metaphors not because we feel they make our speech and writing more vivid and inviting but because we fail to learn how to express ourselves otherwise; we know not the words.

Powerless to repeat an author's epigram, unfit to recite a poet's verse, more than many of us are utterly able to echo a society's slogans and clichés:

absence makes the heart grow fonder

actions speak louder than words

a picture is worth a thousand words

beauty is in the eye of the beholder

better late than never

do as I say, not as I do

forgive and forget

hope for the best but expect the worst

it takes two

keep your nose to the grindstone

live and learn

misery loves company

money isn't everything

neither a borrower nor a lender be

take it one day at a time

the best things in life are free

two wrongs don't make a right

what goes around, comes around

you can't have everything

Popular prescriptions are the platitudes and proverbs by which people live their lives. It is these dicta that determine who we are and how we act; they define our intellectual and moral makeup.

Dull-witted speakers and writers depend on prescriptions like these to guide them through life. For this poor populace, life is, we may surmise, laid out. From the popular or proper course, there is scant deviation. A stray thought is, for them, a gray thought. Popular prescriptions endure not for their sincerity but for their simplicity. We embrace them because they make all they profess to explain and all they profess to prescribe seem plain and uncomplicated.

Torpid terms are vapid words and phrases that we use in place of vital ones

a majority of

a moving experience

a step forward in the right direction

cautiously optimistic

take corrective action

leaves a lot to be desired

negative feelings

remedy the situation

send a message

shocked and saddened

subsequent to

Formulas as flat as these keep us dumb and dispassionate. They elicit the least from us.

Reckless writers and slipshod speakers use many words where few would do:

advance planning

at this time

consensus of opinion

due to the fact that

first and foremost

free gift

just recently

in advance of

in and of itself

in spite of the fact that

in terms of

make a determination

on the part of

past experience

period of time

the reason why is because

refer back

until such time as

Yet for all the words, their expression is but impoverished; more words do not necessarily signify more meaning.

Life is measured by its meaning, and a good deal of that meaning is inherent in the words we use. If so many of our words are superfluous — and thus do not signify — so much of our life is, ineluctably, meaningless.

In the end, we are no more superfluous than are the words we use.

In themselves, dimwitticisms are as innocuous as any other single word or phrase might be, but within sentences, among thoughts struggling to be expressed and ideas seeking to be understood, dimwitticisms ravage the writer's efforts as much as they do the reader's, the speaker's as much as the listener's.

Dimwitticisms give rise to ineloquence, and it is precisely this that marks so much of our speech and writing. Whatever the occasion, whether celebratory or funereal, quotidian or uncommon, people speak and write the same dimwitted words and phrases. No wonder so many of us feel barren or inconsolable: there are few words that inspire us, few words that move us, few words that thrill or overwhelm us. Persuasion has lost much of its sway, conviction, much of its claim.

People who rely on dimwitticisms appear to express themselves more fluently and articulately than those few who do not. But this is a sham articulateness, for without the use of phrases like

left holding the bag

left out in the cold

her worst nightmare

and that type of stuff

level the playing field

stick out like a sore thumb

arrive on the scene

it is interesting to note

in the wrong place at the wrong time

a breath of fresh air

most people would stammer helplessly.

Dimwitticisms are ubiquitous, and we cannot easily escape them. Perhaps none of us can express a thought without them. We learn them unknowingly; insidiously do they become part of our wording unless we recognize what they are and withstand their onslaught. Genuine articulateness is writing and speech that scarcely makes use of dimwitticisms, and it is achieved only with effort.

Certainly, it is the least effective speakers and writers who use the most dimwitticisms. A person's ability to express himself well — compellingly, persuasively — is inversely proportional to the number of dimwitticisms he uses.