| TVR Home > The Imperfectibility of People | Contact TVR |
A society is generally as lax as its language.
Though a contagion that nearly all of us suffer from, businesspeople, lawyers, politicians, journalists, and academicians seem unusually afflicted with wordiness.
Business Jargon
In a survey, 503 top executives at leading U.S. manufacturing and service firms reported that two-thirds of their entry-level managers and professionals wrote unclearly. Entry level or top level, it seems to matter not:
Consider this diffuse phrasing from the president and CEO of a bank, from whom we should expect a style more stately:
We've enclosed an informative brochure that includes a map and information on the changes occurring February 17. As you will note, you can continue banking just as you have in the past. There is no action required on your part.
Informative and information are redundant, in the past is superfluous with as you have, and There is no action required on your part is much inferior to, for example, You need do nothing.
From a real-estate professional, we have this unwieldy wording:
I'm under the impression, due to the fact that I've not heard from the main office, that your application has been accepted.
Had this person written I believe instead of I'm under the impression that and since instead of due to the fact that, we might have a bit more confidence in his abilities.
Consider this sentence from a letter written by the president of a business:
The employees of Flagship Press thank you in advance for your past, present, and future business and support.
The phrase thank you in advance is an offensive one, but used in this typically "businesslike" sentence, it is altogether nescient; thank you for your business and support would do.
Here is an "explanation" from a credit card company:
The Minimum Payment Due each month shall be reduced by the amounts paid in excess of the Minimum Payment Due during the previous three months which have not already been so applied in determining the Minimum Payment Due in such earlier months, unless you have exceeded your line of credit or have paid the entire New Balance shown on your billing statement.
This language is so laborious to understand that many people simply wouldn't bother to try; they would disregard it. Of course, the purpose of a statement like this is less to lucidly convey a policy than to legally protect the company.
Consider this artful sentence from the chairman and CEO of a well-known consulting firm:
Management, with the participation and concurrence of key professional staff, has determined that we can best serve our shareowners and ourselves by resisting temptation to pursue all of the interesting challenges we are equipped to handle.
This is typical business bombast. It sounds fairly good, and it is meant to (coming as it does from an annual report). But as is often so in business, sound precedes sense.
Though phrases like participation and concurrence, key professional staff, resisting temptation, and all of the interesting challenges we are equipped to handle may to shareholders sound sweet, the sentence means no more than:
Also See in TVR:
The Perfectibility of Words by Robert Hartwell Fiske
We will focus on only some areas of our expertise.
Among the verbose phrases valued by those in the business world are a high level of, component part, course of action, from the standpoint of, game plan, have an impact on, in a timely fashion, in the not-too-distant future, is in receipt of, plan of action, please be advised that, prioritize, time frame, valuable asset, and window of opportunity.
Legalese
The language of the law is often complicated and unintelligible, but it could be made less so if lawyers would only choose to communicate with laypeople in fewer words and syllables:
Neither party to this Agreement nor any persons to whom either party has disclosed the Proprietary Information pursuant to this paragraph shall disclose the Proprietary Information to any persons, or permit any person access to the Proprietary Information, or use the Proprietary Information or permit it to be used, directly or indirectly, for their own account, or for the account of another, or make any copy of the Proprietary Information without the express prior written consent in each instance of the party from whom it originated, with such consent being granted only by an individual with the capacity to authorize copying, except that each party may disclose and grant access to the Proprietary Information to those members of its staff who (a) need such access in order to effectuate the Arrangement and (b) have agreed not to further disclose or allow access to the Proprietary Information, and not to use it or permit it to be used, directly or indirectly for their own account or for the account of another, but to safeguard the Proprietary Information and treat it as the highly confidential, proprietary and trade secret property of the other party and to use it only to effectuate the Arrangement and only so long as the Arrangement remains in effect.
And that's just one sentence. Here are several shorter, though no less bewildering, illustrations of lawyers' language:
This Agreement shall inure to the benefit of the Agent's successors and assigns, and it shall be binding upon Author's successors, assigns, executors, administrators, heirs, and legal representatives.
Boilerplate like this invariably contains the grandiloquent inure to the benefit of; in piecing together their contracts, lawyers should one day learn that inure to says no less.
The trust has agreed that in the event the advisory agreement between the investment adviser and the trust is terminated, or if the affiliation between the investment adviser and its parent company is terminated, the trust will eliminate the name "Allstate" from its name if the investment adviser or its parent company so request.
Legal phraseology frequently is exposed for what it truly is by those who write it. Here the phrase in the event in the first line means simply if, as the if in the second line makes plain.
Lawyers, too, have their preferred wording: compensate, effectuate, expeditiously, in accordance with, in consideration of, in force and effect, in perpetuity, in the absence of, necessitate, notwithstanding, pursuant to, subsequent to, and until such time as.
Political Cant
In a poll of 1,513 adults, 70 percent of the respondents considered politicians "not so good" or "poor." The prevailing view was that most politicians make campaign promises they do not intend to fulfill, will lie if the truth would hurt them politically, and are mainly concerned with holding on to power.
Indeed, it is often in the interest of politicians and government officials to conceal their true thoughts from us. Consider this prize display of evasiveness by a political aide to a city mayor:
I confirm that I said it, but I will neither confirm nor deny that I meant it.
Of saying as little as possible with as many words as possible, this phrasing by a high-ranking military official is paradigmatic:
We will benefit from the experience that we've already had about how to implement that, and learning from the lessons of the past in terms of what we've already done.
Or consider this wording by top presidential aide, the meaning of which is meant to elude us all:
I think what's important to point out there is that they said they found no evidence of wrongdoing on my part and certainly nothing that indicated anything that he said with evidence to anything that I've done.
Equally unsettling is how politicians are forever devising new expressions or redefining old ones to serve their own interests.
"I misspoke," explained the politico when the committee asked about his stated opinion on abortion.
The danger here is that the euphemism will become synonymous with the word it is used for. When a word like misspeak is used euphemistically for a word like lie, we must all loudly complain. Lest euphemisms become synonyms, dictionaries become undone, and minds become mangled, we must all complain.
There are other illustrations of euphemism; for example, the wordy it remains to be seen and that's an open question, favored by politicians and their ilk, so often truly mean the inadmissible I don't know.
Allied to euphemism is circumlocution, another stratagem that politicians depend on.
The senator, who once was seen as wavering, says he now "is supportive of the president's nominee" for secretary of defense.
The verb phrase is supportive of is less binding than the verb supports and nicely serves the senator his equivocal purpose. Verb phrases are more wordy than verbs, so it seems as though more is being said, but they are less direct and less meaningful. Deception requires more words than truthfulness.
Consider, too, this ineffectual phrasing by a government bureaucrat:
It remains my hope and cautiously optimistic expectation that necessary legislation may be enacted prior to October 1.
The phrase hope and expectation is redundant, but to qualify expectation with cautiously optimistic is witless. Moreover, cautiously optimistic — one of officialdom's favorite phrases — is oxymoronic. But it is surely the incongruity of the words that so appeals to politicians; juxtaposed, they mean nothing, and politicians generally prefer saying nothing to saying something. Still uneasy with his pronouncement, the bureaucrat further tempers it with the may preceding be enacted. He might have written his words more capably had he used fewer of them:
I expect legislation will be enacted before October 1.
Journalese
If politicians are attached to euphemism and circumlocution, journalists are surely attached to cliché and slang: bear a striking resemblance to, despite the fact that, express concern, in connection with, in the meantime, in the midst of, in the wake of, on the condition that, on the part of, on the verge of, stand in sharp contrast to, and the vast majority of are a few of their frightful phrases.
Moreover, despite the confines of their columns, newspaper and magazine writers have yet to learn much about using the shorter phrase or the single word.
Oftentimes, the Senate, as well as the White House, struggles with questions involving what is now being described as lifestyle. The problem is that, in effect, the Senate and the White House sometimes are being asked to put their stamp of approval on lifestyles that, while acceptable in Washington, are not acceptable by general standards elsewhere.
If we change oftentimes to often, as well as to and, involving what is now being described as to of, the Senate and the White House to both, put their stamp of approval on to approve, and by general standards to generally and delete in effect and being, we lose several lines of text but not a word of meaning:
Often, the Senate and the White House struggle with questions of lifestyle. The problem is that both sometimes are asked to approve lifestyles that, while acceptable in Washington, are not generally acceptable elsewhere.
Journalists furnish their newspapers and magazines with quantities of verbiage. Here, though, are just a few more examples.
Lack of experience on the part of the firm is also a source of delay and difficulty.
Lack of experience would be better phrased as the inexperience, and on the part of as, simply, of.
If sea levels rise to the extent that scientists predict, the Marshall Islands, which are composed of two chains of coral islands rising no more than 5 feet above the sea, would be submerged.
A more careful journalist might have written as much as instead of to the extent that, and comprise instead of are composed of.
In the course of the debate, legislators complained that the vote was futile, because the governor had the power to freeze spending regardless of what legislators did.
In the course of can be replaced by during, and regardless of what by despite what.
The law created the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, a federal agency charged with the responsibility of ensuring the safety of workers.
The phrase charged with the responsibility of is repetitious; either charged with or responsible for is enough.
Academicspeak
Another area known for its reliance on jargon and gibberish is academia. Academics (especially social scientists, administrators, and self-important students) regularly try to give more prestige to their disciplines, and themselves, by breeding their own vocabularies. The author of a recent book on relationships identifies five levels of commitment:
1. dating — no commitment
2. steady dating — some commitment
3. monogamy — seeing yourselves as a couple
4. monogamy plus — you're a couple and everyone around you knows it
5. living together — you're making plansMonogamy plus (which we might reasonably think a euphemism for bigamy) is one of their misbegotten idioms. Academics create terms like this so that they may explain the obvious to us. We need them to define their terminology. Of course, most of these words we can happily do without. More than just idioms, academics (and those who would have us think they are) tirelessly create their own spurious systems and subsystems.
From a college preparatory school catalog, here is an entertaining, some might say indecorous, description of a course in human sexuality:
Human sexuality is a required skills course that teaches sexuality topics through the framework of values clarification activities.
I think most parents would like further explanation of required skills course and values clarification activities, but better yet would be a less ambiguous description.
Disturbingly often, the academics' language belies their intellectual standing. Consider this paragraph from the manuscript of a college text on finance:
Mutual savings banks have grown steadily, but relatively slowly. A major reason for their relatively slow growth is that they are geographically limited. There are less than 500 of them operating in only 16 states. They primarily are located only in the Northeastern section of the country — with the sole exception of 6 states, and less than 20 mutual savings banks, that operate in the Far West and Midwest.
There's nothing inherently abstruse about the information in this paragraph. It is the wordiness of the writing, the fuzziness of the thinking, that interferes with our understanding.
Mutual savings banks have grown steadily but slowly. Fewer than 500 of them operate in only 16 states. Except for some 20 mutual savings banks in the Far West and Midwest, they are all in the Northeast.
Finally, here are a few words from a recent college graduate's commencement address:
I think back to freshman year when my parents called in those first couple of weeks, and in the course of the conversation they asked, "Well, what have you learned so far?" I think they were a little worried when I said I've learned to write a sentence — a short, simple, concise sentence that was to the point.
Well they worry.
| Back one page | Print this page |
 Back to Top
|
|
 TVR Home
|
|
Copyright © 1999-2003 Vocabula Communications Company. All rights reserved.
No material from this site may be used or reproduced without permission.
Vocabula is a registered service mark of Vocabula Communications Company.
Grumbling About Grammar is a registered service mark of Vocabula Communications Company.
TVR signature tune copyright © 2001 Vocabula Communications Company. All rights reserved.
Vocabula logo copyright © 2002 Vocabula Communications Company. All rights reserved.
